Thursday, February 23, 2012

2011 Personal Scripture Challenge

In 2011, I set the goal to read the entire LDS Standard Works, which includes the Old and New Testament, The Book of Mormon, Pearl of Great Price, and The Doctrine & Covenants, before the end of the year. (for information on the LDS Church visit www.lds.org) It is about 2500 pages of scripture.  I tried to read about 7 pages a day.  Which at times was difficult and other times was easy.  I think that holding myself to this personal goal was one of the best things I could've done for myself.

I will be honest, the last few months of the year, I let myself get WAY behind.  There were some days that I only read a page, and other days that I let the scripture study I do with the girls count as my daily scripture study and didn't read anything toward my goal.  Then I would read 50 or so pages to catch up, stay caught up for a few days, and then start getting behind again.

I didn't want to find myself reading because I felt coerced into meeting my goal.  I didn't want to read with the wrong attitude.  So on days when I just couldn't get into it, I read a page or two and put them down, wanting to come back to it when I was ready to really study, and get something out of what I was reading. 

I will totally make the excuse that during the fall & holiday season, Matt was gone a LOT and I was exhausted and stretched REALLY thin.  So there were plenty of days, when I crawled into bed, that I couldn't stay awake long enough to hit my target.

However, I DID finish my goal.  I wanted to finish it by Christmas, but I didn't.  I DID finish by New Years though.  I am really proud of myself.  It was sometimes hard to make time and through some stretches in the bible it was REALLY hard, there are portions of D&C that made it hard to stay awake sometimes as well.  But in general, I feel like my understanding of the Gospel of Jesus Christ grew SO much.  More than I could've imagined.

I started out wanting to be more familiar with all the scriptures, have a better grasp on the biblical timeline, and be able to do it quickly so that I didn't forget what I had read and so that I could see how the Standard Works as a whole relate to each other.

I came away with knowledge that the Gospel of Christ is eternal.  The pattern of God continuously reaching out to man, through visions, prophets, angels, scripture, blessings, and destruction, was illuminated so strongly.  I felt the connections to ancient traditions, and felt able to understand how thousands of years could pass so quickly to God, and could feel his love and patience in explaining his plan over and over again, as man would quickly dismiss what they have learned, because "we know so much better".

There were portions of the scriptures, especially in the Old Testament, but also little bits everywhere, that made me uncomfortable.  That I couldn't seem to fit into my perception of the Gospel and into my belief system (I mean, have you read all of Leviticus?).  I would ponder and pray about these things.  I would look up information in lesson manuals and online.  Sometimes my problems with the text were resolved by this, other times they were not. 

In the end, I would end up choosing to disregard the things I read that bothered me.  Some people might think that in doing this I was pulling the wool over my own eyes, or choosing to live in ignorance.  Part of my theory is that the people who kept the records of the scriptures weren't perfect.  The other part is that none of these instances caused me enough discomfort to discredit the beautiful feelings of peace and joy that the rest of my scripture studying experience provoked.  I would look at the bits that came across as wrong to me, and most of them did not effect my day to day religious experience.

When I pray about whether or not Jesus Christ is my Savior, whether the Book of Mormon is true scripture, whether or not we have a living prophet, if the principles and ordinances we receive through church and temple instruction are sacred and everlasting, I still get the same answer.  YES!

In the end, I believe that by trying to live my life as outlined by the Gospel of Christ, being as humble, loving, kind, dedicated, honest, diligent, and hard working as I can is all that matters.  The God that I believe in will judge everyone individually, my religious belief system is deeply personal, and I am mostly concerned with having my heart in the right place.  I am sure that if I focused enough on the part of the scriptures that bother me, or what one leader/teacher said that rubbed me wrong, it would eat away at my testimony.  However, I find myself praying that if the Gospel is true, I will be able to disregard teachings that don't feel right to me, and that aren't an essential part of my salvation.  I guess what I am saying is that I feel like I understand the Gospel enough, and have had enough of a person witness through the Holy Ghost on all the major points, that I feel comfortable enough in my own ability to know truth when I hear it.  And I am also willing to accept responsibility for seeking out and accepting that truth, and being able to hold to my personal convictions even when others, even of the same faith, may have a different interpretation.

I certainly can't say that I fully understand the Gospel.  I will always need to be taught and guided by the Spirit and by those around me, from all walks of life and religious perspectives.  I still have a lot of humbling that needs to happen, a long with a lot of continuous study and prayer.

To sum up, reading the entire Standard Works, in a very short time frame, was the best personal challenge I have ever given myself.  I am so glad that I felt inspired to do it.  I am sure that if I hadn't been doing it with "real intent" I wouldn't have been able to gain so much from the experience.  It strengthened my testimony that, if you truly want to know God, His plan for you, and do your best to seek for wisdom and truth, God will bless you with all those desires, and if after learning these things you desire to love Him and serve Him, He will fill you with enlightenment, understanding, JOY, and PEACE, beyond what you thought yourself capable of.

2 comments:

Sheila and Mario said...

I have set the same personal goal for 2012. Did you use the reading list from the San Diego temple matron as a guide? Though I got off to a great start, I find myself in a similar boat as you did and falling behind some days. I plan to continue on and worry more about the total experience than the timeline. I really appreciated your beautiful testimony and it was just what I needed to hear/read right now. I hope my experience is as touching as yours ;-)

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