I am SO over March...so why isn't March over??

WARNING: I AM GRUMPY & TIRED...SO...sorry about that

this is definitly in the "ugly but honest" journal categories 

When we left Thatcher on the 3rd of March Lily was just getting a nasty cold (if you live in AZ, you or someone in your family probably had it this month), well she got it and then so did I, and then so did Isabel.  So we had about 2.5 weeks of "the cold".  Then just as Lily was getting over it, her fever spiked up again and she was REALLY grumpy, although she was no longer coughing and her nose wasn't really running much either.  I wasn't sure what was up with her, she had never had an ear infection before and when I was asking her, she kept saying that her ears didn't hurt, but lo and behold she DID have one.  Not really suprising with the HUGE amounts of "drainage", which is my nice way of saying snot out the wazoo, that we all had with this cold.  So 2 days after the fever spike she has her 3 year "well-check" and thats when the doc confirms that it is indeed an ear infection and writes her a script.  About a week later the same thing happens to Izzie, with the fever coming back and the misery, after a day of this I asked my Brother in Law (he is a PA) to look at her ears, and she has an ear infection too.  So the next day we take her to the doc and she also gets a prescription for an ear infection.  That same day I woke up knowing I HAD to have a sinus and ear infection, I give it a day or 2 to be sure (WHY?? I am an idiot...I was just hoping it would go away), then go to the dr and get some antibiotics myself.  Izzie and I are just finishing them up this week. 
 
Matt has been busy with school and work.  He had his spring break last week, but between work and Dr appts, we didn't seen much of him.  We were planning on having a temple day and then spending the night with his sister in Chandler, but Matt found out the Sunday before that they had rescheduled a scout/young men's snow day activity for that day, so we cancelled it.  So the girls and I ended up seeing less of him during spring break than we usually do during a normal week.  That made me a little sad if I am being honest, but he had a good time in the snow, so I am glad.  He came back bruised and sunburned and worn out, which is how you SHOULD look if you are tubing right?  It was probably a good break for him to get out and do something fun outside away from his family, work and school responsibilities.

So that is March so far. And I am getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow, so I am sure that it is going to be a lovely rest of the month :)

Oh and Lily has regressed in her potty training after doing so well before she got sick, so that has caused some frustration for me, I am not gonna lie.

I have really been feeling pretty worn out and pushed to the limit the past few weeks.  I am starting to feel pretty inadequate when it comes to being able to "do it all".  Do you ever feel that way?  Trying to be a good wife and mother (which is a lot of work, some days it is quite a battle to even attempt to be the kind of mom I wish I was), trying to be a good person, fufill my household, personal, church, and family/friend responsibilities.  It just seems like a lot sometimes.  Plus I miss my best friend.  Alot.  This whole Matt being unavailable 80% of the time and us both being tired and worn out thing, is rough on me.  Especially this month with me being sick and taking care of sick kids, it has been rough.  Most of the time I truly feel like a single parent and that is hard.  I see other people who have SUPER busy husbands and more kids than I do and I just don't know how they do it.  I am overwhelmed.  And lonely.

And I am eating my stress.  Yeah...I gained 5 lbs this month.  I keep resolving not to eat junk, and then I just give up an hour later.  I know in my MIND that if I was eating better and excercising I would probably feel better, and lets face it, excercise is a much healthier stress release than a cheeseburger and onion rings.  Back before I had kids when I felt overwhelmed I would run a couple of miles and feel in control and then feel better.  Running felt good.  Now I am so out of shape that running just hurts, so I feel down and decide to just give up and eat something (usually when I am exhausted at 8pm and the kids are finally sleeping and I am alone and worn out).  Not a good cycle right? 

Maybe having to get my wisdom teeth out won't be such a bad thing.  Maybe not being able to eat junk for a couple weeks will help me break some of these bad habits.

Anyway, I know I should stop complaining.  I have a lot to be thankful for.  2 beautiful kids.  A place to live, the ability to buy a cheeseburger when I feel like it.  The opportunity for Matt to go to school and pursue a career he is interested in.  His job.  Our extended family & friends.  Our church responsibilities that give us purpose and bless our lives.  Not to mention, the gospel of Jesus Christ.  The forgiveness I can recieve on all those days when I fall desperately short.  The peace and light and joy it brings.  That is the greatest blessing of all.

It's just hard to remember that sometimes, when you feel sick and are running off 5 hours sleep and cleaning up "potty accidents", trying to keep your 1 year old out of it (who is crying and sick and miserable climbing all over you), while your 3 year old stands in the corner screaming and crying, and you haven't had more than a 5 minute conversation with your husband in a week.  Ah, the glamourous life I lead  :)

****BUT on a truly glamourous and happier note, I am going to have a birthday party in April.  I haven't had a birthday party in years and years.  In fact I don't even remember??  My fabulous friends Lisa and Sara, from our fabulous ward suggested I have one, at first I said no, but then I thought about it, and why not??  Nobody has to bring presents or anything, but it seems like a good excuse as any to have a party and get together with friends.  It's a theme party (because we are fabulous) a, like, totally righteous, 1980's dance party.  It's going to be awesome dudes.  I am just worried that I will forget to invite people who might want to come...so if you read this and would want to come let me know and I'll add you to the list :) ****

Thatcher - Part 2 :)

So the day before we left Thatcher we went up on Mt Graham and had a snow day!  Lily ended up sick afterwards and since then all us girls have passed it around...but it might have been worth it!  It was Lily's first time in snow and it was a gorgeous day, we pulled off into a road side "undeveloped campsite" and it was perfect for all our needs.

There was a great little hill for sledding down

And a nice little flat spot for building a snowman

Just before we left a couple people pulled over to take some pictures and we asked them to use our camera to catch one of all 3 of us.

It was a great little family day.  Which by the way, have I mentioned those are scarce lately?  Even on our trip, Matt spent most of the time holed up in a bedroom doing schoolwork.  But he took this 1/2 day off and managed to go out to eat with a friend from Nursing School and even out to eat with me once!

Trip to Thatcher - Part A

The Sunday after LilyBug's B-day we left to Thatcher right after church.  We had a BLAST we got to spend some time with my family, which was great.  My mom spoiled the girls, which she of course loved and so did they.  Here she is letting Izzie play in her cereal cupboard and eat cereal right out of the box (if only she was around to clean up the messes that have been made since we got home!)

Isabel also loved going down the slide that Grandma keeps in the family room now that she is finally big enough to climb up and go down!

My mom also took the girls out for a walk one beautiful morning.  That is perhaps (other than my family/friends) the thing I miss MOST about living in Thatch.  Getting to walk (or jog) around the neighborhood at anytime of day or night, by yourself or with the kids, and feeling completely safe.

We got to spend a little time with GG on two different days, and I just wish it was more.  I wish that the girls had more time to really get to know her and establish a relationship with her.  She is such a HUGE part of my life and I miss her most of all.

I LOVED gettting to spend some time with both my sisters and their husbands.  I love those girls and miss them.

We also had a birthday party for Lily on Monday night it was perfect.  Nice and small, just my family and my good friend Cindy with her 2 kids. Here is my closest sister in age, Emily and her daughter Ava.

My mom and I made a cake.  She wanted to do a carosel since Lily loved riding the merry-go-round on her B-day, but we weren't sure how to do it.  I went to the store and got some plastic animals and I figured out how to make them on poles and stuck them in the cake, my wonderful mom (who always does a different themed cake-she is no repeater) has been doing homemade cakes for all our birthday/anniversaries/weddings/etc my whole life.  I have never seen her do one twice and she is SO great and it is always fun to see what she comes up with.  She frosted it and made the top.  It definetly isn't her most glamorous creation, but I think it was great for a 'fly by the seat of your pants' operation and it was a fun afternoon spent making it.

At the party Lily got a bunch of dress up clothes, since she is really into dress up now a days (along with some real life clothes that are SO adorable!)  Here she is with her cousin Ava (the only other girl on my side) trying some of it on.

Here she is with her cousin Ava (the only other girl on my side) trying some of it on.

We also did a pinata with the kids, which was so fun!  Lily got to pick it out and help me fill it with candy before the trip.

Lily got to have 2 turns and in the end, I helped her out and we busted the head off :) What can I say...I am selfish, and breaking pinatas is one of my favorite things.  I think they should be present at more adult parties.  What?  I am just saying.

Here the kids are enjoying the fruits of their laborAnd my nephew Kaleb sporting the pinata head as a new fashion

Coming in Part 2...a trip to the snow :)

The big day

Liliy's birthday, was GREAT.  We had so much fun.  We were planning on doing a small family get together with my family when we went to Thatcher that weekend, so we didn't have much planned for the actual day, but we did want to make it special for her.  So this is how our day went.

In the morning after breakfast Lily and I got ready for the day.  I probably should have thought about pictures and dressed her in a cuter outfit, but I was trying not to dirty anything that I was going to have to pack for our trip.  I did french braid her hair though, which I am kind of proud of.

Seriously.  You try this on a 2 turning 3 year old.  If you ever have, you would know that I deserve some props.  Thank you very much!  :)

Then we went to Goodwill.  Not that exciting, but we needed to get some snow clothes for our trip to Thatcher and I was not willing to spend too much money on them, because really...we live in AZ. Come on now.  So Lily went with me and helped me pick stuff out.  I also had to buy ties there for a tie cutting game that we played during Primary Singing Time (which was so much fun by the way).

After Goodwill we went to "Toys R'Us".  I had been wanting to get a present for Lily to give to her on her B-day, we had a few things to give her at the party, but I had failed to pick up a toy horse, which was what we wanted to give her on the actual day.  Just one present to help it feel like a special day.  So anyway, I let her come with me and she got to pick out the stick horse she wanted.  I actually let her pick out an extra one, so that we would have two, because I am sure that in a year we would be regretting that we only have one for our 2 girls.  At the check out counter Lily told the cleark it was her birthday and she gave Lily a crown and a balloon, which she LOVED.

Izzie looking up & admiring the ballon!

Then we went home and picked up Dad and Izzie and went to Miss Katie's for gymnastics class.

Lily of course, like always, had a blast.

After gymnastics we went straight to Peter Piper Pizza.  It was Lily's first time ever being there.  Nana (matt's mom) came and met us there and she brought a big thing of bubbles with lots of big balloons tied to it for Lily.  It was so much fun to have Nana there, and she watched Izzie for a lot of the time so Matt and I could play all the games with Lily and we had a BLAST.  I even crawled around with her in all the play tubing and went down the slide.

They had a small merry-go-round there and Lily loved riding it.  After a while we put Izzie on there as well for a couple of rounds.  They LOVED it.  I got some pretty cute videos of them riding and laughing, but I am not sure how to post them, so I guess one picture of Izzie riding will have to do.  They had one chair type ride on the little merry go round and it had a seat belt, so we were able to strap her in and let her hold on all by herself.  She loved it.  It was the middle of the day on a weekday, so there was hardly anyone there.  We won almost 600 tickets and so we were able to pick out some fun prizes at the end of the day.  And as we were getting ready to leave a nice woman said she got 2 tokens with her meal and didn't need them so she gave them to us, which was so sweet of her and the girls got a couple more rides on the merry-go-round.

One of the prizes we picked were friendship braclets for all of us.

We also got this silly headband, which both girls loved.  And several other things, I won't document them all.

We went home and had a nap/quiet time and then had a fun evening playing with all our balloons and bubbles and the prizes we picked out from the Arcade and the stick horses.  It was a great day.  Matt was so sweet and took a break from school from 11am until the girls went to bed, so we got to have lots of fun family time, which has been pretty scarce latley.  It was just nice and wonderful and I wish we could have more days like that, where we put off all "responsibilities and just try to have fun together as a family and make each other happy.