Are you afraid of scary stories?

Because this is one.

At least for me it is. I haven't posted in a while, and this will be brief (jenn style brief..which really isn't that brief), because just looking back and forth from the keyboard to the screen is making me want to puke (sorry for the blunt-ness of that statement).

Last month in the week before thanksgiving, i woke up and found that I couldn't turn my head without experiencing the most violent vertigo imaginable. Literally. I don't think you can imagine a more violent spinning, no rollercoaster or nasa simulator could compare. I was holding on for dear life, it was several minutes before I could let go of the sheets with one hand in order to grope the area next to me deperatley for Matt to wake him and tell him what I was experiencing. Everything was spinning/rolling with such force that I couldn't hold up my head. Really all I could do was vomit, and I couldn't even lift my head to do that. Yeah. Gross.

Since then I have been to the dr. several times. After the first time I saw them and the meds they gave me did nothing to improve my condition they sent me to St. Joseph's Hospital (the Dr.'s office I see is on the campus of St. Joe's and my doc is an Attending there), so that I could get a bunch of tests done "in-patient", so that we could get results quicker, and they could take care of me easier, etc. [because at this point matt was picking me up and carrying me to the bathroom twice a day while I tried (sometimes successfully) not to throw up or pass out].

Anyway, I came home from the hospital in the early hours on Thanksgiving, so we had a pretty pitiful holiday. My dear husband has been AMAZING in caring for me and the girls, since I have been 100% useless. He took the first week off work, and after that my wonderful in-laws let me move in with them so that my incredible mother in law could take care of me and the girls.

I am getting better and starting to be home on my own now, though I am pretty hopped up on meds and so I can't drive, etc. But atleast I can walk now. Being on the computer and watching TV is something I can do now, but typing is alot harder, so if I haven't answered your emails/facebooks personally--that is why. I can point and click, but the vision changes from keyboard to screen is too much for me still.

In general, this past month has been horrifying for me. The worst physical experience I have ever had. And the getting better process is very slow for me, which is incredibly frustrating-as patience is one of the many virtures that I desperately lack. I have missed alot of commitments, some small and some heartbreakingly big, due to this ridiculousness. It doesn't usually take normal people this long to recover from positional vertigo, but the Dr's said that I have the worst case they have ever seen (which justifies me, but is also frustrating). And if you are thinking "Oh, I know someone who had that, I bet I could tell you what to do to make you feel better". Thanks. That really is sweet of you. But honestly, I was at St. Joe's, home of Barrow's Neurological Institute, when i had my neuro consult, and Barrow's is basically the best neuro place in the country, so I feel pretty confident in the quality of care I am recieving. I only say this because I have had dozens of people/relatives say "have you tried this'? of "you should call this guy", which is all coming from a good place, and I appreciate that those people love me and only want me to feel better but...

Anyway, things are on there way up and I just can't wait until I can get of these drugs that make my days pass in a blur and have a day where I don't feel like puking without popping pills.

Oh, and did I mention that my mother in law (seriously LOVE her SO much) took SUCH good care of me that I gained 5 lbs while at her house?!  She brought me all kinds of things that I could finally eat while drugged up and I lay on the couch for 2.5 weeks. I worked really hard to lose those 5lbs in Oct and now I have to do it again. :( But I am not really complaining, just eating and being so well taken care of was a HUGE blessing.

So basically, I have lots of good news and cute pics, but they will have to wait until I am feeling a bit better. Also a coule of my awesome friends have tagged me in their blogs this past month (which I just noticed this week on my return to being able to look at the computer, I have been tagged before, but always ignored it, but I am going to do that whole "interesting little known facts" thing...eventually.

Ok, so now I am super nauceous and must stop typing. This is in NO WAY a "feel sorry for me" post, it is just because I have recieved lots of emails and messages on FB asking what is going on and there is no way I can type an individual response to you all right now. So if you have left me any kind of contact in the past 4 weeks, don't feel shunted, I have not answered anyone.  So there you have it here in a very brief minimalized nutshell is what is going on. My body WILL normalize and adjust itself, I just have to sit and wait, and do some vestibular therapy.

Thanks to all for their love and prayers and especially to the primary kids who made me cards. You are so sweet and help me and effect my life more than you know!